These are my first thoughts of Cambodia that I am putting down on paper because it is my most apparent reality. As I sit here at 12:30 in the morning because my body refuses to let me sleep, I look at the remaining physical vestiges of my trip.
Invisible floor.
Clean laundry that needs putting away.
New and renewed tan lines.
Small trinkets that serve as gifts and reminders.
Many things that need doing, and are important, yet seem so small in the grand scheme of things. Let me try to put into words what happened on my most recent adventure.
I left early (and by early, I mean leaving my house at 2:30...) on Thursday July 2 for LA. Excited. Apprehensive. I didn't know anyone who was going and, being the introvert that I am, making new friends without having someone there already is always nerve wracking. But...new friends equal new experiences, and I was ready for what God had in store for me in Cambodia.
I get into LA and meet up with the rest of the team. There are 17 of us from across the country. Thus begins the gloriously awkward times of getting to know one another. The first night we spend in debrief getting an overview of what the trip is going to look like.
(The view from the plane as we took off from Singapore.)
We take off the next day for Tokyo. Some of you are probably thinking, "I thought you went to Cambodia?" Yes, yes, we did. But the trip there is no simple one. After connecting in Tokyo and Singapore, we finally arrived in Phnom Pehn on Sunday morning, weary, but ready to serve.
(Descending into Phnom Penh.)
We first visit Tuol Sleng, a museum for the Khmer (pronounced "chem-I") Rouge genocide that happened in the 70's. For those of you who don't know and would like to, this genocide killed about 2 million people. The government came in and wanted to create a communist society, so they killed off the educated, old, young, foreigners, and pretty much anyone that had a different way of thinking. These killings happened brutally, descriptions that I am going to spare for the internet. This was a genocide stunted Cambodia's growth and permanently impacted the economic situation of the country. This museum that we went to was the first of several memorials that we would visit on our trip. All of them were very raw and relatively unchanged from the Khmer Rouge.
(Tuol Sleng. One of the biggest places of genocide.)
Tuol Sleng specifically was a secondary school before the rise of the Khmer Rouge. Walking around the museum, we could see bits and pieces of the old school covered by the brutality it later experienced. It was shocking to see and learn about the atrocities this government dealt out for what seems like no apparent reason. This was a reality that shaped Cambodia, and we witnessed that in every aspect of our trip.
(I would suggest researching the Khmer Rouge further if you would like to know more. The history is longer than I could comfortably or accurately put into a blog.)
After Tuol Sleng, we made our first trip to Kid's Club, an event that would become an almost daily part of the rest of our trip. The first time we walked in, we could see the joy on the kids' faces. One member of the team put it well, "We walk in, and we are love to those kids. They know that when people like us come, they are going to be loved." (That is a paraphrase, just so you know.) As I'm sure many of you have experienced if you've spent much time in a third world country, those kids latch on to you. One girl, who I sadly never caught the name of, grabbed my hand from the moment we walked in and wouldn't let go. For days. It really makes you realize that this may be the only time that they get any sort of positive love or attention. So we loved. And we played. And we danced. And we did the stanky leg. I can't tell you how many times we whipped and nae nae'd for the glory of God, if you can even believe that. Those experiences opened up a new place of compassion in my heart for the people of Cambodia. I'm sure you heard it many times, the kids had relatively nothing and yet were so happy for the simple things we could do like give them attention.
(Kid's Club! My heart aches for all these kids.)
Toward the end of our trip, we went on a prayer walk through the poorest sections of Phnom Penh. In one area, small huts or tents were made on the side of a road. They had no legal claim to the land and if the government really wanted to, they could go kick them out. The worst part? Many of the kids we saw and played with everyday came from these areas. It gave us a really good picture of the complete ministry that Kid's Club provides to these kids and families.
However, we also saw how far they still have to go.
(I am putting my shameless plug here. Seriously pray about your tithe each month and if you want to "adopt" a compassion child. It helps send these kids to school and gives the family food each month. For only $30 dollars. You wouldn't believe the difference that makes in these kids' lives... But really. How can you say no to this face?? Talk to me and I can possibly get you connected or just go straight to the Rapha House website. Honestly, that's probably your better option.)
That was fun and so rewarding. We got to be the hands and feet and teach kids about how awesome God is. And, gosh, the JOY! The pure untainted joy on their faces. Joy that was untainted by the world the and the so called "needs" that those of us in America can't live without. It was like a breath of fresh air.
As we continued to get to know the country and the people, we took a trip to the market (one of two) and had a little prayer walk. This is the place where many people make their living and others come to live. They sell everything: fruits, veggies, clothes, shoes, jewelry, fresh(ish) meat. You name it, it was probably there somewhere. We just spent time praying. For the country. For the people. For the men who are selfishly exploiting the vulnerable. And the women who are being exploited in the deepest way. I can't express how much prayer works. Everywhere. God's power was fully displayed in they way he answered big prayers for us and the people we were with. In a country with as much darkness as Cambodia, prayer shines like a bright beacon of hope for all.
Now, with this story, I have to tell you that walking through the market was the only time on the trip that I was truly scared. While Brock, Bailey, and I were walking around, we had an...encounter with an individual of questionable motives. All of us got very bad vibes from this individual, and I believe that God was with us there in that moment.
Remember me telling you about the Khmer Rouge? Well, we went to a couple more memorials. It was difficult to fully comprehend the amount of death that took place. Sometimes in the most beautiful spots that are so clearly created by God, but marred by the darkness of death and Buddhist temples.
(Buddhist temple at the top of the mountain. Also a place of mass killings. And home to many monkeys.)
This particular temple sat at the top of a mountain. The landscape was beautiful. I literally stood in awe for minutes just looking out at everything. And also trying not to get "attacked" by the monkeys...
(The view from said temple.)
Here, the death came in some of the worst ways. Not that tortuous death is ever pleasant. Here, they threw the elderly and the children into caves. It breaks my heart just thinking about what they experienced knowing that there was no redemption for many of them. Pregnant women were not spared from the worst. In many cases, their unborn child was cut from them and the mother and the infant were killed. It's things like that which make me incredibly grateful for my family and my country, and yet also wonder how I came to be blessed in this way.
(The caves. 30-40 feet down. People were thrown down at that opening. The bones of victims still remain.)
One of my favorite things about Cambodia and this trip was seeing how alive the Christians are. They approach life and ministry with the mentality that if they don't do it, no one will because they are the minority there. They reach out to the women who have been exploited, the kids and families that don't have enough to live on, and really just anyone who doesn't know the love of Christ. They teach them new trades to give them a new way of life and teach them about God. For security reasons, I can't tell you everything about the ministries we were able to see because of the delicate nature of women coming out of the sex trade. But, I do want to tell you about my favorite interaction.
We spent the morning of our last full day at the
Russian Market, basically a place that sells everything and tests your
bartering skills. I first want to tell you that we were not originally planning
on being at the Russian Market on this day, we planned on going our very first
day, but as life happens, our plans changed. By and by, about thirty minutes
before we were to meet up with the rest of our team, our trip
leaders come up to us asking if we had been to this specific shop in the
market. We hadn’t, and they walked with us to the shop while telling us what
they knew. The owner of the shop’s name is Annie, and the store sells little
crocheted animals that help support the people who live in the dump and have
nowhere else to go. Unfortunately,
business for the shop had been down and needed a little boost. Earlier that
morning, Annie had been praying for God to send Christians to get business and
to spread the word about the ministry. I cannot tell you how crazy and awesome
it was to see God working and answering her prayer through us. The power of
prayer in a country like Cambodia is clearly evident because of the extreme
darkness Christians encounter everyday.
(This is Annie. And some of the awesome creations behind us. Sorry about the poor quality.)
Two other ministries I want to highlight help young men and women learn a trade to keep them healthy and happy and to teach them about God: the Freedom Salon and the Coconut Boys.
The Freedom Salon teaches girls how to do hair and nails and gives them a way to make a living without having to go into sex slavery. They are given a place to live and a fair wage for the services they provide. It was awesome to hang out with them and encourage them, knowing that this was so much better than what a lot of people went through.
The Coconut Boys is a unique ministry. Our translator's brother saw a need in the young men of Cambodia to be taught how to be strong leaders and how to relate in life. Many men in Cambodia do not have strong examples and because of that there is a lot of abuse in families. This was started to give them a strong start and to teach the boys how to work with their hands. They make some of the coolest things you will ever see out of the coconut.
(Works of art in the making. This is how it's all done.)
On Sunday, we went to church on Women's Island. Literally an island. Not literally just for women. The story behind Women's Island goes back to the Khmer Rouge. During their regime, the Khmer Rouge took the prostitutes and marginalized women and isolated them on this island, pretty much guaranteeing they would live in poverty. The church was packed with faithful followers. They told us a story about some massive flooding that happened a while back and how not even standing water could keep them from worshiping. It kind of makes you feel bad for not going because you don't want to trek through the snow...
The women on this island make a living by making and selling bracelets. This is their only source of income and let me tell you the bracelets are actually quite cheap... It's the simple things that make you realize how blessed we are and how much we take the little things for granted.
(Our transportation to Women's Island. And yes. We are sitting on top of the boat. NBD.)
Toward the end of our time in Cambodia, we went to a group home for kids whose parents were unable to take care of them for whatever reason. They gave these kids a safe and nurturing place to live and grow up and really just worked at giving them a chance at a successful life. Spending time with them playing and just hanging out was incredible. If I haven't mentioned it yet, these kids, all of them, know how to make the most fun out of the simplest things. They could play soccer for hours, or just jump continuously over a band of Silly Bandz (think small children jumping over a band that comes up to your chin) and showing you up tremendously over and over.
This group home was in the middle of what would be considered a trafficking hotspot. We took a walk to the riverside, and our leaders showed us all the row of houses that served at karaoke bars and trafficking spots. We had recently watched Finding Home (the documentary on Rapha House that follows the story of three girls) and they told us that these karaoke bars were very similar to the one that one of those girls had been rescued from. When you look at house after house of the same thing in such a small area, your heart just breaks. It seems like there is no end and no hope. It's only when you look back at how far they have come and the work that is still being done to bring justice to the area that you can see hope.
On one evening, we took the bus (the one
provided by Rapha, there is no public transportation to speak of there) down to
the “red light district” in Phnom Penh. There were so many girls on the sides
of the street waiting for their next job to walk up and pay for their services.
It was a real look into the problem that exists in Cambodia. Prostitution in Cambodia isn't illegal as long as the girl is of age, but many of the women in trafficking are not there because of their own personal choice. Some things to know about the Cambodian culture, as a child, you are inherently indebted to your parents. The general thought is that your parents gave you life, and you need to do whatever is in your power to help support them. This idea is so strong that many girls will leave their families in hopes of finding a job and find themselves stranded. It is also widely accepted that one can cure HIV by having sex with a virgin. Scientifically, we know this isn't true, but culture is strong and it drives this belief.
What possibly broke my heart the most was knowing that there was a market for
this so called service, and women will continue to be used and abused. The stark reality of that fact hit me on that night, and I could see the long road of sin that had brought us to this point. We have fed the monster of sexual sin in smaller ways for so long that we forget to see people as humans. They become objects to be used to fill the void in man's heart. Men look for satisfaction and fulfillment in something that is temporary and not to the loving Savior that promises the ultimate fulfillment. That is the sad state of our fallen world.
This brings me to the safe house. The first night that we went to the safe house the girls were
just lined up waiting for us with paper flowers they made and had a show all ready
for us. It was really cool how excited they were. But also, another
among the heartbreaking things, some of the girls were so young. The
majority of them were taken out of the home for prevention sake and the
others were actually victims. I couldn't believe how sick the guys must
have been to do that to girls who could have been their daughters age.
It was such a eye opener to the depravity of man and how completely our
world is broken and how much we need our savior. But even in the midst of all that, those girls were experiencing true joy. The kind of joy that can only come from healing from Rapha. Many of their pasts are dark and painful, but by the grace of God they were getting better.
Rapha House is also doing big things in the life of girls with special needs. In Cambodia, the individuals with special needs are not given much attention, and even until recently at Rapha they didn't have a special place for them to be. They don't have programs like we do here and are often turned away from the services they need the most. Rapha house just recently added a special home for the girls in their care who had special needs. We got to visit Sweet Home a couple times and it was one of the most amazing things. It was seriously like walking into a different world. Those girls had their own little oasis for living and thriving. The staff at Rapha didn't just tend to their physical and emotional needs of the moment. They got to know the girls and tried to help them do something outside of the home that would really give their life meaning. It was something so incredibly beautiful to witness.
This became even more evident when a death happened in their community. Sweet Home seemed untouched by the sadness around them. Which is amazing when you know the religious background of the country. Because of the Buddhist culture, there is a great fear of ghosts for those who have recently died. There is a belief that the spirit of the person who passed away can hang around and haunt them. It is so deeply ingrained that we couldn't see the girls after that day.
I have to say that this trip was amazing. My life was changed in so many ways by seeing God actively work in my own life and in the nation of Cambodia. I have to say that my team was awesome. Ask anyone and they would be able to tell you that I was super nervous about going on a trip that I didn't already know people, but God being awesome in ways only he can be, brought 17 strangers together to relate to each other and to build us up. I am blessed by having known them.
Disclaimer: I started this within first few days of coming back, but I was very much not able to finish it that week. One of the things I was praying for during the trip was to be broken from my feelings of emotional dullness, and boy did he ever answer that. Even now three weeks later, I have relived some of the more potent memories and had my heart broken over and over again. There are also a lot of things I just can't put into words. Emotions and feelings. These are reserved to actual words, so if you want to get the full scope, you will have to talk to me.
I also had to withhold some of the details regarding locations and names for security sake. If you were wondering about why I was being vague, just know that I don't want anyone to be hurt because of what I share here. I just wanted to share about the huge things that God has done and is doing and to raise awareness for the country and the situation. Sex trafficking happens everywhere. You may or may not have heard this, so if you had...well, here's just another reminder. Sex trafficking and the darkness that comes with it is still prevalent here, it is just more of a covert darkness because of the nature of our society. However, we are only kidding ourselves and hurting others by ignoring the situation. I could go on and on about this, so I don't want to bore you. I just want to give you an awareness.
So, in closing I would first like to thank anyone who prayed for myself and my team during this trip. They were felt, and I know they made for a much smoother trip overall and softened our hearts to learn from and to love those we came in contact with. Second, I challenge you to keep praying for the nation of Cambodia. The small percentage of Christians could use your prayers as they face roadblocks and persecution. I also encourage you to keep praying for our own country. We are not perfect by any stretch of the word, and we need God here just as badly as they do in Cambodia. The fight is not over, and it won't be over until the Good Lord comes back, so until then we have to keep striving until the whole world knows his name.
