Now you might say, "Michelle, we get this. You said as much in your last post." Yes, you're right I did. But I've recently started reading a book. And by recently I mean today. This book is about feeling restless in our lives and realizing where he stands in our relationship with him. I'm two and a half chapters in and it's already challenging me to do better.
I'm talking about death. Not in the full literal, heart stops beating sense. I'm talking about how we need to die to ourselves if we ever want to experience life and growth.
In John 12, there's a quote from Jesus that I'm sure you've heard in many sermons and Sunday school classes. Verse 24 and 25 say this - "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life."
Now, I don't know if you understand much about how seeds work, but say you take some wheat. It has to go through life and death before life can spring forth again and bear new fruit. Jennie Allen says it better than I would ever be able to. In Restless: Because You Were Made for More, she puts it like this, "A seed comes from the living flesh of a fruit. But it will never be more than a hard nuisance that gets stuck in our teeth, unless it is buried in the ground. And even then, in the dark, it is encased with a thick shell— dead and hard. But under the dirt, at some point, flesh is birthed out of something lifeless. It breaks through and pushes to the surface; it moves and grows, running up and out of something that was dead. Now it’s alive— now it brings life."
Ok, so maybe this is old news to you and you've got it all figured out. Good for you. I encourage you to never forget that God asks for us to surrender each and everyday to Him. For someone like me who has an independent streak as long as the Great Wall, it's hard. I don't like doing what other people tell me to do. My family can attest to this. Sometimes I do the opposite of what they suggest just because I'd much rather do my own thing. And let me tell you, this is hard to overcome even in my walk with God. I'm scared that God is going to ask me to do something that I absolutely do not want to do. I'm scared that he is going to take things and people from my life because in the end it is not what he has planned for my life. But that's the beauty of it. Since his plan is ultimately better than anything we could ask or imagine, there is nothing to be afraid of. When we rest in the comfort if his embrace and dreams he will take care of us, if we just die to ourselves and let him fill us again with his life and breath.
When we live a life with abandon, we live asking God to have his way. We allow him to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. In the end, it will be more rewarding than the plans and dreams and goals we had for ourselves.
